Manage Your Fears

On June 13, 2013   /   Communication Skills, Corporate Culture, Leadership   /   Leave a comment

Frea-1Fear and uncertainty are an unpleasant reality when dealing with difficult economic times. How you manage uncertainty is the measure of effective leadership.

Fear is endemic in an organization facing hard times. But managers should not show fears they feel to their team. It sends the wrong signal and can cause employees to lose faith. Stoic, perhaps, but it is the reality of leading in an organization. Fear persists, however, so how leaders deal with it is important.

First and foremost, the leader needs to remain in control of himself and his team. Until told otherwise the manager must adopt the command position by knowing and acting on expectations for self and the team. Moving forward, here are things a leader can do to deal with the situation.

Be realistic. High achievers fear something more than business failure; they fear they will not perform up to expectations. It is critical to address that possibility. One way is to game it out in your mind. Play the “what happens if” scenario for each action step. If this happens, then what? Or if that happens, what do I do? Rolling the scenario out in your mind may give you comfort of knowing the consequences. So often the unknown is more fearful than the known. “Fear,” goes the German proverb, “makes the wolf bigger than he is.”

Confide in a friend. Talk it out with a friend, preferably not a subordinate. You can role play the scenario with her as a means of gaining perspective. Invite your colleague to ask you questions. So often the simple act of speaking out loud is helpful. Verbalizing the situation forces an individual to frame the situation in ways that can lead to greater clarity.

Look for inspiration. Find an outlet to release your fear. Exercise is always good; keeping yourself fit is healthy. Some find hope in their faith; others find it in doing something completely different, perhaps coaching a team, volunteering at a shelter, or organizing a food drive. These things can be fulfilling because they get you outside of yourself by helping others.

Lighten up. Dwelling in fear is a zero-sum game. You must abandon that mindset. Make light of the situation. Lampoon it. Take a cue from humorist, Dave Barry, who wrote, “All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears—of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words ‘Some Assembly Required.'” Absurdity never hurt anyone.

Fear is reality when dealing with tough times, but how you manage it is the measure of effective leadership. One who succumbs and gives up surrenders the ability to lead. Standing up to fear, acknowledging its presence, and resolving to move forward, requires determination, and yes courage. That’s the stuff of leaders.

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The Ultimate Key to Effective Communication

On June 12, 2013   /   Communication Skills, Corporate Culture, Leadership   /   Leave a comment

Communication-2

Is there a single “holy grail” of effective communication?

For more than 20 years I have been helping organizations and individuals improve their communication effectiveness in both professional and personal settings. I have developed and delivered training on a wide variety of communication topics: presentation skills, high-impact writing, active listening, understanding communication styles, speaking with clarity and brevity, how to have “tough” conversations about difficult topics…and the list goes on.

On occasion during a workshop someone will ask me to identify the most important communication skill – usually this means they have become overwhelmed by too much information and feel they cannot assimilate all of the communication skills, habits and techniques being delivered – so they want to know… what is the ONE technique they should definitely learn.

(Shameless Plug: If you are looking to assess your organization’s overall communication competency, take a look at the Professional  Communication SkillMap which is an organizational communication assessment.)

For many years my standard answer was “there is no single most important skill” and I would go on to describe the intricacy and complexity of human interactions. I would pontificate regarding the importance of this topic, how so much business productivity is lost and personal life satisfaction is never realized because people are unwilling to invest the time and energy needed to truly master interpersonal communication. Essentially I was saying “This is hard stuff, so stop trying to find the easy way to master it all. Take your medicine. You may not like the taste but it will be good for you. Really.”

Please accept my apology.

If you are one of the individuals who asked this question over the last 20 years, and received a response similar to the one above. Because I think this response was short-sighted and really meant that I had simply not thought the question through fully enough. But it is of course uncomfortable to say “I don’t know” when someone asks a good question in a communication skills workshop. And my response achieved the intended result – no further questions along this line.

Which brings me to the reason for writing this article. Because after many years of thought, discussion and observation, I believe I now have the answer to the question.

Bear with me a moment while I get to the point.

All of the skills I have taught over the years are still valid and important. Here is a listing of the skill categories included in some of my most recent workshops:

  • Authentically communicating what you really feel and think.
  • Speaking and writing with clarity and brevity.
  • Asking tactical and strategic questions to seek understanding.
  • Listening actively for deeper understanding.
  • Communicating with emotional effectiveness.
  • Clarifying agreements and outcomes.

And while these topics are still valid and immensely important, if tomorrow I were to be asked the question “what is the most important communication skill,” my answer would go something like this:

The most important communication skill is learning to motivate others to want to communicate openly, authentically and safely.

In both your business world and your personal life, if you can encourage others to open up, to share authentic thoughts and feelings, to feel safe knowing there is no downside to full and open dialogue, and to deeply understand the benefits of authentic interpersonal communication, this will be a profound ability that will radically change the quality and direction of your life – and the lives of many others.

With that said, this is not an easy ability to develop. It goes far beyond the mere development of communication skills. Because of course, before you can focus on helping others you have to first develop your own communication capabilities. You have to become a true “model” of open dialogue and communication.

If you are a business leader this means setting an example for others in your organization. It means “walking the talk” every day, communicating openly and authentically, addressing difficult situations directly and respectfully. The most effective communication “training” any business leader can provide for his or her organization comes from that leaders day to day communication style itself. In fact, the case can be easily made that this is the only real communication skills training that ever occurs in any organization.

Communication training workshops for businesses are a total waste of time if the skills, habits and techniques that are highlighted by the training are not reflected in the actual day to day practices of that organization’s leadership. Employees learn very quickly what the real communication culture of any organization is – and that culture is inevitably set by the organization’s leadership.

So once again – the most important communication skill any business leader can develop is the ability to motivate others to want to communicate openly, authentically and safely.

This is the ultimate communication skill. And it is profoundly difficult. Especially for business leaders. Because they are often under enormous pressures. They are under the microscope all the time. A business leader can spend years working hard to establish an open communication culture within an organization, and all it takes is a single slip – snapping at an employee, over-reacting to bad news – and the open communication culture can begin to erode quickly.

Business leaders also struggle because there is so much that they cannot say. Financial reporting requirements place severe restrictions on any business with publicly traded debt. Even privately held companies usually have important restrictions regarding what a business leader can and cannot say. And beyond the legal restrictions,  a business leader has to be careful because every word from the leader of an organization carries so much weight.

For a business leader, even something as simple as giving a compliment for a job well done to a specific subordinate during a business meeting can be problematic. Because it comes from the leader, that compliment carries great weight, both positive and negative. Positive for the person receiving the compliment. And potentially negative for others who did not receive similar positive comments. It isn’t fair to the business leader, but every comment is scrutinized this way.

(Shameless Plug #2: If you are looking to assess your own communication abilities as a business leader, check out the REAL Communication Assessment.)

So what specifically can a business leader do, to instill in others the motivation to communicate openly, authentically and safely? By “safely” I mean working to help others feel safe and certain that they will not suffer negative consequences because they have brought up a difficult topic. Here are a few specific recommendations for business leaders:

  • Spend more time asking questions and listening carefully than you spend talking and expressing your opinion.
  • Be careful not to “telegraph” your own opinions before asking questions in order to minimize the natural tendency of many people to echo the thoughts and opinions of the business leader.
  • Listen actively throughout your day. So much is being communicated all around you. Don’t just listen for what people are saying. Listen for what they are NOT saying, and listen for the emotions underlying everything they say.
  • Don’t be annoyed that you have to be so thoughtful with your communication. It is not that others don’t want to be direct and open with you – but we all have a tendency to be careful when we aren’t certain about the safety of the environment.
  • When you DO speak, don’t be too careful or nuanced in your communication. Be a “plain talker” who is known for speaking frankly, directly and respectfully in all situations.
  • Also when you speak, tell people what you REALLY feel and think. Don’t split hairs or equivocate.
  • Speak with clarity and brevity – this will come easier when you are saying what you really think. Many business leaders fall into the trap of talking way too much because they are essentially dancing around what they really think.
  • Your writing should reflect these same thoughts. Even email should be written with clarity, brevity and respect. Never “flame” an employee by email, or in person.

Final thought – remember, the most important communication skill any business leader can develop is the ability to motivate others to want to communicate openly, authentically and safely.

If you keep this goal in mind every day, continually assessing your own communication effectiveness and  monitoring the level of open communication in your organization, you will begin to move in the right direction. This is often slow, difficult progress. And it is very easy to backslide. But the benefits can be enormous. Imagine how much more productive your entire organization could be if everyone was comfortable. motivated and had the skills to communicate openly and authentically at all times.

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Can We Talk? Apparently Not When It Matters Most.

On June 12, 2013   /   Communication Skills, Leadership   /   Leave a comment

Conversation5When you ask people to rate themselves in terms of communication ability, the most common response is “slightly above average.” In fact, more than 80% tend to rate ourselves as average or above. Of course that’s not mathematically possible, so at least 30% of us are somewhat deluded in terms of our self-perception.

Authentic business communication is especially difficult for businesspeople during tough economic times. It is possible to be a successful business leader of you are totally honest and open in your communication with others?

Poor communication is partly the result of ineffective communication skills, but it is also caused by being in too much of a hurry to communicate clearly. Of course, some employees are poor listeners as well, but the best managers always take responsibility for getting through to all employees, even those with poor listening skills.

Good Intentions Don’t Equal Good Communication

Managers who make an effort to communicate clearly often do so by providing extra detail or by being unusually precise. They assume they have their employees’ undivided attention when, very often, their minds are racing with all the things they are in a hurry to do. It is vital to prepare listeners by telling them to relax and forget about everything else for a moment so they can concentrate on getting the manager’s message.

The second critical step is to engage listeners as much as possible. This can be done in a number of ways, such as asking them to summarize the message at various stages when delivering the message. Listeners can also be asked questions about the message: what are the essential points, how will they apply it, what will they do differently or how would they convey the message to others. If listeners are not engaged, they will only retain a limited amount of what is said. Everyone switches off after a short time period.

There are other simple communication techniques that can help make the message stick. Using vivid or funny examples and images can help; so can any pictures. Making people laugh is a great way to hold their attention. Knowing your audience helps as well, but if it is large and varied, it is important to use various tactics to reach everyone. Some people remember numbers and other facts; others are impressed by a strong emotion, while still others like to hear an exciting vision. The more you can mix various elements into your message, the more listeners will retain the message.

Communicating Under Pressure

One of the biggest obstacles to good communication is pressure — the sheer volume of work people have to do and the limited amount of time they have to do it in. In addition, everyone at work today is suffering from information overload, which means that much of what is communicated to them will never make an impression, let alone be retained. During tough times in business, one of the first casualties is honest communication.

The first step in dealing with the impact of pressure on communication is to recognize the reality of it. If the communication is important enough, it is essential to give it the amount of time it deserves and to find a number of ways and occasions to repeat the message. When managers are in a hurry, they run the risk of leaving out important parts of a message and to assume that people understand what they mean. When listeners are in a hurry as well, the chances of clear communication are nearly zero.

The only way to deal with the information overload problem to prioritize by ranking every communication in terms of its importance, using labels such as critical, important, and useful. Of course, managers think that all of their communications are important if not critical. But failing to prioritize is like failing to be strategic. No person or business can do everything equally well. Those who think otherwise are bound to spread themselves too thinly and are likely to fail. Keep in mind the 80-20 rule – that 80% of your results will be achieved through 20% of your efforts.

This rule means that much of what we do is not adding much real value. Being strategic means identifying the 20% that is critical and investing most time and energy on those items. The same principle applies to communication. Managers who treat every communication as essential are simply adding to the information overload problem, not solving it. Given that the meaning of management is to get the best return out of all resources, then managers who do not prioritize their communications by some means are simply not managing.

When it comes to communicating under pressure, dealing with difficult issues, having the “tough” conversations we know we should (but often don’t) have, our self-perception becomes more realistic. Most of us acknowledge a tendency to first avoid difficult conversations, and when we do have them we recognize that we are not often as effective as we could be.

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Authentic Business Dialogue During Tough Times

On June 12, 2013   /   Communication Skills, Leadership, Productivity   /   Leave a comment

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You can easily make the case that the dialogue in most business environments is never fully authentic, but when market conditions are especially challenging, there is no question that frank and candid conversation suffers.

For many businesses, a market downturn sets off both external and internal battles for survival.

And the first casualty of war is truth.

If you know that your employer is likely to initiative significant layoffs in the near future, are likely to “rock the boat” with information or opinions that go against the grain of current management thinking?

If your business leaders clearly value “problem solvers” more than “problem identifiers” (more commonly called whiners) are you likely to speak up about issues you have noticed, but do not know how to solve?

During times like these virtually everyone goes into survival mode, and they are only willing to do or say those things that will enhance their chances for survival.

There are four particularly destructive behaviors that become very prevalent during an economic downturn. You could argue that these tendencies are always there in practically any business, but when there is a marked increase in corporate paranoia and fear, these behaviors become more common – and also more destructive. Because now more than ever most businesses need authentic engagement and conversation rather than self-protection.

Here are the four most problematic business dialogue patterns during tough economic times:

Heads in the sand. It is truly amazing how many bright, educated and competent business people manage to minimize or deny the severity of a situation. They engage in debate about metrics and data and root causes and strategic vision while their corporate ship slowly sinks.

Business teams that openly discuss doubts and challenges are much more likely to act quickly in a practical manner – to acknowledge and resolve the crises. And yet, according to our research, fewer than 30% of business teams are able to effectively discuss disagreements about the urgency of economic issues.

Mouths shut. After deciding upon an action plan, most people fail to hold others accountable for deviating from agreed-upon execution timelines and deliverables. And those who fail to meet agreed upon objectives rarely speak up – they keep their mouths shut and hope that no one notices they didn’t meet a deadline. Or worse, they fudge their reports to create the impression that everything is fine. (“We’re all green on every project on this spreadsheet!”)

In contrast, high performing teams are comfortable directly addressing the issue when someone is not achieving an agreed upon goal. No one is attacked. These issues are addressed productively and directly – with the mutual goal of a successful outcome in mind.

Protecting Pets. In many organizations, individuals conclude that necessary budget cuts are politically unwise to bring up. Ideas are withheld because people don’t know how to suggest cuts to the boss’s pet project. And business leaders often send out clear signals regarding the “undiscussables” that must be protected at all costs. Even if the leader is factually and objectively correct, not allowing engaged dialogue about these issues creates a closed and fearful dynamic.

Business teams that aren’t mired in these kinds of “undiscussables” are much more likely to act quickly to resolve a financial crisis. Because everything is on the table, the discussions are more complete, have greater depth, and are more likely to result in an action plan that produces positive results.

Circling Sharks. By the time actual budget cuts and layoffs occur, business leaders have convinced themselves that their decisions are rational, well-informed and necessary. But more often than they realize, the cuts are actually irrational, based upon corporate sharks circling around the weak and defenseless..

Authentic dialogue can help to ensure that the difficult decisions made are in fact rational, well-informed and necessary.

What Leaders Can Do

Each of these behaviors represents a pivot point between agility and a tar pit. Teams that confront these behaviors through crucial conversations are 250% more likely to survive. Less agile teams are 360% more likely to miss millions of dollars in lost opportunities. Here’s how leaders can take control:

  • Model and Teach Authentic Dialogue Skills. As leaders foster the dialogue skills required to hold these crucial conversations, every one of the positive results described above is enabled as teams reach consensus, not conflict.
  • Schedule Regular Financial Workouts. The era of fixed budgets is over. Agile firms replace fixed budgets with financial workouts that pit a wide range of initiatives against clear criteria, revenue, and strategy to guide their spending. These workouts are led by the C-suite and scheduled quarterly or in response to unforeseen shocks.
  • Publicly Sacrifice a Sacred Cow. Sacrifice breathes life into new values. When leaders openly demonstrate that fiscal stewardship is more important than pet projects or personal ego, cynical team members begin to “doubt their doubts.”
  • Support Decisions that Favor Timeliness over Perfection. Most managers believe their leaders expect perfection. However, fiscally agile leaders accept that urgent financial decisions are made under conditions of uncertainty. Good leaders encourage managers to tailor decisions to the information they have.
  • Create Safe “Sub-Dialogues.” Leaders who break fiscal challenges into discrete problems and assign small cross-functional groups to work in a time-bound way are more likely to generate solutions. They will see intelligent cuts proposed rapidly by those who truly understood and embraced the goals of the reduction.

The greatest barrier to business agility is not a lack of intelligence or a lack of time but a lack of focused, unified dialogue. Leaders who invest in the skills, time, and support to help their people hold crucial conversations will generate both profoundly wise and surprisingly rapid solutions to their challenges. And while the need for business agility is paramount in today’s economy, the capacity to engage in candid, timely and wise deliberation pays returns in any season.

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Why Most Business Communications Sucks

On April 21, 2013   /   Communication Skills   /   Leave a comment

 

Communication Errors

Effective business writing is a transferable skill you can use in any and every profession. But one of the most common complaints about modern business communication is that too many words are being used to convey too few real ideas. So in that spirit here is our brief list of the most common business communication errors, delivered in a focused and concise manner. Read more →

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