Every company has its own culture and way of doing things, and within that lived reality are what we call the unwritten rules—which must be followed to get ahead at a corporation. These are not usually written down in a company handbook but are left implicit—unwritten—for employees to decipher on their own.
Most learn about these rules by asking team members, seeking feedback, inquiring about what gets rewarded or discouraged, or just simply by observing what does or does not work.
While some of the unwritten rules might be useful and constructive (increase your visibility, build relationships, network, etc.), some unwritten rules can seem to take on a life of their own. How do you know when an unwritten rule is simply dysfunctional and has gone past its sell-by date?
After speaking with companies for years, here are some examples of dysfunctional ‘unwritten rules’ that I’ve come across:
- Walk faster around the building (so you look like you’re busy)
- Don’t reply to emails too fast (so you look like you’re busy)
- Sit closest to the CEO in a board meeting
- He/she who speaks loudest and longest wins
- Leave a jacket on your chair so it looks like you’re still around the office
- Send an email late at night or on weekends to appear dedicated
- Don’t smile too much
- Have a strong handshake
These unwritten rules are ridiculous, and they just perpetuate illusions. In addition, they are also left up to interpretation. For example, a woman in the UK was advised by her mentor not to smile too much because it made her appear too feminine. Since when has smiling been a feminine characteristic? At the same company, her male colleague had also been told the same unwritten rule. However, when he asked why, he was told it could compromise his sense of gravitas. Same rule, different interpretation.
This makes me wonder if an unwritten rule can be different for people of different genders, how does it work across nationalities? A woman from Latin Europe once told me that when she travelled to northern Europe she consciously tried not to smile more than necessary, as she noticed the culture was quite serious and she was keen to fit in. What are the global implications of doing business therefore if you have an unwritten rule that does not translate well in another region and/or culture?
Here’s my central dilemma, if we ask employees to bring their whole selves to work, but also tell them they have to change their style to be more conforming, what are the chances that this group will be diverse? Will we merely perpetuate stereotypes further by forcing people to abide to dysfunctional rules?
While some unwritten rules can be powerfully effective in navigating through the workplace and can help you succeed, some unwritten rules need to be avoided at all costs. Being aware of both types is a necessity.